Caring for someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease often requires a great deal of time and patience, and it can cause great stress to the caregiver.
Both illnesses lead to symptoms of serious changes in memory, personality and behavior. For some it often ends up with the afflicted needing total care, 24 hours per day. This can be emotionally and physically demanding for a family caregiver, a grown child taking care of her/his parent, or a spouse caring for his/her lifelong partner.
Dementia is the loss of cognitive functioning and intellectual reasoning due to changes in the brain caused by disease. Those with dementia tend to repeat questions, become disoriented in familiar places, neglect personal hygiene or nutrition, or get confused about people or time. It can be caused by many things, some of which are reversible – such as vitamin deficiencies and poor nutrition, to reactions to medications or problems with the thyroid. However, some forms of dementia are irreversible, such as that caused by mini strokes or Alzheimer’s. Read more…
A senior citizen that has good communication skills will find all areas of their life to benefit. Many seniors may just focus on verbal and written communication, but non-verbal communication is extremely important as it makes up a large percentage of one’s daily interpersonal communication. Seniors can practice better nonverbal communication by following these tips.
1. Practice Great Eye Contact—Whether a senior is just speaking to their doctor or a loved one, they should always look people in the eye. Those that don’t can appear somewhat evasive.
2. Put Into Place Meaningful Signals—Seniors that practice good nonverbal signals and gestures can improve their verbal communication. This could involve using hand gestures to enforce what you are saying.
3. Think about the context of signals and the ability to misread them—If a senior is communicating with someone, they should always factor in the context of the situation in what nonverbal communication techniques they should use. Some situations are more formal than others. Using the wrong signal can lend itself to being misread.
4. Watch That Tone—Often times a senior citizen may be saying one thing, but have a tone conveying the opposite. Seniors should always be aware of how their tone of voice comes off to others. Tone should correspond to the emotions you are trying to convey.
Respite care refers to short-term, temporary care provided to someone who needs assistance so that a family caregiver can take a break from the daily routine, challenges and stress of caring for an aging adult. Respite is often referred to as the gift of time.
Respite services may involve overnight care for an extended period of time such as when the caregiver’s family takes a vacation. Or respite care can be for just a few hours a day or week to give the caregiver some time off to take a break, exercise, conduct personal business or even visit with friends.
“This [respite care] allows family caregivers some time away, while knowing that their relative is getting the care and companionship he or she needs,” says Richard Schulz, Ph.D., caregiver stress expert at the University of Pittsburgh.
While respite care may require some financial outlay, it must be weighed as an option to support the mental stability and health of the family caregiver. Even using just a couple of the services (errands and shopping) can lessen the burden of caregiving considerably.
Agencies that provide information and services are hospice care, home health agencies, non-medical senior care agencies, social services, private nursing companies, senior centers, churches or the National Family Caregivers Association.
Caring for your spouse has warm rewards. An advantage is that your spouse in need of help comfortable with you, being their caregiver. You know each other’s habits and preferences. You also know each other intimately so it eases any embarrassment when dealing with private needs. You also know the home environment and what areas might be in question when it comes to safety issues.
However, the caregiving spouse may feel odd about asking others for much needed help, fearing their loved one will be embarrassed or uncomfortable if anyone else provides care or knows that they need this care.
Spousal caregivers often feel so much stress since they also live with the person they are caring for, which doesn’t provide for any breaks physically or emotionally. “It is important that the spouse continue to do some of the activities she or he likes, whether it is singing in the church choir or going to the monthly book club meeting, so that he or she continues to socialize outside of the home and give themselves a breather,” advises Richard Schulz, Ph.D., caregiver stress expert at the University of Pittsburgh.
You’re at work. The phone rings. Caller ID shows it’s your mom. You sigh. Shake your head and wish the call would just go away. You think, “I was just there. What does she need now? How am I possibly going to get my work done?”
Most caregivers have other important and pressing responsibilities, so the added responsibility of caring for a senior loved one is likely to cause both emotional and physical stress on the caregiver. In fact, according to a survey by Home Instead Senior Care, 31% of family caregivers admit they’d like more help.
The first step in dealing with caregiver stress is to recognize the physical signs.
More than half of seniors resist asking for help, even from their adult children, fearing it signals a neediness that could land them in a nursing home, a new study shows.
That fierce resistance is playing out in so many family squabbles — from the silent treatment to bitter turf wars between aging parents and their grown kids — that the home-care agency Home Instead Senior Care has just launched a series of online self-help videos, one of them focusing on communication.
“This is a big problem for family caregivers,” says Bruce Mahony, owner of Home Instead’s Toronto office. “If seniors admit they need help, they think their independence is in question. They worry about losing control of their affairs.”
A friend of the Hogans who founded Home Instead Senior Care, Mary Maxwell was asked to give the invocation at the company’s 2009 Convention. Initially it seemed like a normal prayer, but it soon took a very funny turn. Her deadpan delivery and lines like …This is the first time I’ve ever been old… and it just sort of crept up on me … soon had the franchise owners rolling in the aisles. With the timing of a professional comedian, Mary shines a very funny light on the foibles of aging, to the delight of this audience of senior-care experts.
Blessed In Aging
~Esther Mary Walker
Blessed are they who understand
My faltering step and shaking hand
Blessed, who know my ears today
Must strain to hear the things they say.
Blessed are those who seem to know
My eyes are dim and my mind is slow
Blessed are those who look away
When I spilled tea that weary day.
Blessed are they who, with cheery smile
Stopped to chat for a little while
Blessed are they who know the way
To bring back memories of yesterday.
Blessed are those who never say
“You’ve told that story twice today”
Blessed are they who make it known
That I am loved, respected and not alone.
And blessed are they who will ease the days
Of my journey home, in loving ways.
This poem, as read by Mary Maxwell in the video
“A Reminder That Laughter is the Best Medicine.”
View the video online at CaregiverStress.com
When children find themselves in a position of providing care to their elderly parents, there is a lot of stress, exhaustion and anxiety that occurs. Based on the Canadian Research Institute, research has found that baby boomers that care for their parents are experiencing high levels of stress due to the many pressures that are involved with caring for another adult. Below is more information on how stress levels are on the rise for caregivers.
1. More than 10% of Canadian baby boomers are dealing with caregiving situations and more than half of them have reported very high stress levels.
2. Having responsibilities to elderly parents can cause trouble in other aspects of life. Many baby boomers have a difficult time trying to juggle other duties in life, including raising a family, maintaining a job and keeping friendships.
3. More than 70% of baby boomer caregivers are having trouble balancing work and caring for their parent.
4. In the United States, this is also a problem and more than 80% of baby boomers in America are stressed from supporting parents, children and spouses.
5. The boomer trend is affecting people around the world. Each year, more children find themselves in the role of a caregiver, tending to the needs of an aging parent.
